Berties concept of rugbitivity

Friday’s Rugby Information.

G’day GAGR’s and welcome to the primary Friday Rugby Information beneath Chairman Albo. Massive shout out to new Chief of the Skeleton, sorry Liberal Social gathering, P Dutton, who I’m reliably knowledgeable is a big reader of Friday’s Rugby Information. You don’t have anything else to do for the subsequent 6 years (at the very least) ‘Dutto’, so take pleasure in.

Right now let’s go full throttle ahead with the demise of NZ Rugby & ‘As soon as have been warriors’. Go full ’80’s and get the curling iron prepared, big-up your hair and squeeze into these fake leather-based pants (you already know you continue to obtained em Yowie) with ‘The Finals Countdown’ & Finals Fearless Forecast’. Drop in on a galaxy far distant with ‘Confused am I’. Share the love with ‘The United Nations of Tonga‘ and spherical all of it out with ‘Fridays Goss’ with Hoss’, this week on the backside of the web page.

‘Wee is likely to be un a wee butt uv trubble wee thunk’


Who’d be a Kiwi eh!

You reside on a poxy little rocky outcrop, the place Rugby’s the second neatest thing the boys of your nation are any good at and even that’s beneath menace (cue spooky music right here)……………….or so it appears.

Okay, okay, okay, technically Australian Rugby has not gained something in opposition to the Kiwi’s, effectively, for an ‘prolonged interval’, however I tells ya, similar to some man who merely simply can not carry a tune stated, ‘the occasions, they’re a changin’

The hole between Oz and people of middle-earth has shrunk and markedly so. Take the Aussie pace-setters The Brumbies & The Tahs for example. There may be each probability that either side might notch 3 wins from 5 in opposition to Kiwi franchises, that’s doubtlessly a 60% win ratio in opposition to Kiwi sides. Hypothetically put a Reds aspect on the paddock that weren’t so riddled with harm and the story might be even rosier.

Now if that weren’t sufficient for you, Its broadly acknowledged on either side of the dutch that one of the best coaches in Unzed are not in control of the Nearlies. Certainly the sheen of the practically all black jersey seems that rather more jaded as of late. To check stated concept the Oirish are NZ certain this July and for all of the righteous fanfare surrounding the French aspect, the Oirish aint far off that mark. So one one would possibly say that the as soon as impregnable air of AB invincibility will get a wee work out over the subsequent few months. Add to that an ageing aspect that, from the skin, doesn’t appear to have been regenerated sufficient in time for France 2023 and…..

Look, I’ve been flawed earlier than, positive I can’t really bear in mind when, butt uff I wuz a Kiwi bro, I is likely to be shutting brucks a wee however utt prussunt. Juss sayung.

Damian McKenzie household tree?


SRP ladder at finish of spherical 13.

Please word how effectively the Tahs are doing.

After COVID disruptions, kind slumps, shock wins, harm, suspension and annoying disruptions for elections, the ultimate spherical, spherical #14 of SRP is upon us with some sides and ladder positions and potential finals foes to be determined, it should make for cracking rugby leisure and with the odd twist or flip nonetheless to be performed out.

All groups, occasions & protection particulars courtesy of

Crusaders v Queensland Reds

Friday 27 Might 5:05 pm AEST at OrangeTheory Stadium, ad-free, stay and on-demand on Stan Sport

The Reds have all of it too play for this week. At present ranked #seventh and at worst that’s the place they are going to end. However, beat the Saders at Christchurch, get a bonus level and different outcomes go there means and so they mathematically might sneak as excessive as fifth and keep away from the Crusaders or Brumbies the next week within the QF’s by enjoying the fourth positioned aspect

Barring Mo’unga at 10 the Saders seem at full power, whereas the Reds are nonetheless with out Taniella ‘The Abattoir’ Tupou , James ‘Jon Snow’ O’Connor & Hunter ‘The Squatter’ Paisami to call just a few and for mine merely gained’t have the ‘punch’ in assault to bother the Saders at dwelling.

Fearless prediction: Saders by 30

Remaining Ladder Rating: Saders 2nd. Reds seventh and one other assembly with the Crusaders within the QF’s and ‘goodnight Purple’s’ for season 2022, it proved too many accidents and too excessive a mountain to climb.

Fijian Drua v Chiefs

Saturday 28 Might 1:00 pm AEST at Churchill Park, ad-free, stay and on demand on Stan Sport

The chiefs journey to Fiji to tackle everybody’s second favorite aspect The Drua at dwelling. Make no mistake this recreation is an actual ‘banana pores and skin’ one for the gents from Waikato. The Drua don’t have anything to achieve, other than delight, pleasure and residential fan engagement AND an enormous Kiwi scalp, so due to this fact nothing to lose and when you assume the Drua are harmful at one of the best of occasions they might be deadly on this one, particularly in entrance of their dwelling followers.

It’s a unique story for the Chiefs who at present sit in fourth however might (different outcomes pending) drop to sixth and a potential date with the Brumbies in Canberra. The Chiefs welcome again Brodie ‘Hodor’ Retallick for this one, however even with that they’ve been inconsistent this yr and the results of this recreation is under no circumstances ‘a certainty’.

Fearless Prediction: The ‘upset’, Drua by 5

Remaining Ladder Rating: Drua #eleventh. Chief’s #sixth

Moana Pasifika v Brumbies

Saturday 28 Might 5:05 pm AEST at Mt Good Stadium, ad-free, stay and on demand on Stan Sport

One other week, one other catch-up recreation for the Moana Pasifika aspect and the season most likely can’t finish quickly sufficient for the battle weary MP aspect. The Ponies are, accidents apart, at full power for this one and can simply be far to sturdy and cement third spot on the ladder and a house QF subsequent week.

Fearless Prediction: Ponies by 30

Remaining Ladder Rating: Ponies #third. MP#twelfth.

NSW Waratahs v Blues

Saturday 28 Might 7:45 pm AEST at Leichhardt Oval, ad-free, stay and on demand on Stan Sport and the 9 Community

Whatever the Blues outcome right here they are going to end the common season because the ‘Massive Canine’ of the SRP 2022 on 54 factors, a present hole of six to the Crusaders, so rip, spit or bust they can’t be run down. However, a Tahs win might actually shake up positions 4-6 on the ladder and make the QF’s moderately fascinating.

The Tahs are at full power, barring the injured Perese, while Ned ‘Flanders’ Hanigan will get a deserved beginning gig after what was a sensational cameo off the bench final spherical.

The Blues have the luxurious of being unassailable atop the ladder and have taken the possibility to relaxation just a few gamers as they lead into the finals marketing campaign. most notably Beauden Barrett & Roger Tuivasa-Sheck (RTS)

The Tahs are at dwelling, know how you can beat Kiwi sides and will likely be up for the combat and I fully perceive Blues coach McDonald resting just a few gamers, however in doing so that they have left the door effectively & really ajar and in addition, might in the end change the association of the ultimate eight. Plus it might give the Tahs 3 wins in opposition to 5 Kiwi opponents and never a nasty confidence enhance working into the knockout section as well!

Fearless Prediction: Tahs by 12. No bonus level although

Remaining Ladder Rating: Tahs #5. Blues #1st

Western Power v Hurricanes

Saturday 28 Might 10:00 pm AEST at HBF Park, ad-free, stay and on demand on Stan Sport and the 9 Community

Nicely, for the Power it’s easy, win in opposition to the Canes or nothing else issues! The Power are at dwelling and it will be good if the ‘sea of blue’ seems in numbers, them and the Reds dwelling crowds have been moderately underwhelming this season, and if ever ‘Twiggies Piggies’ want a carry, it’s on this match.

To be frank, the Power will want a miracle to rise up right here. The Canes have the luxurious of bringing ‘Three Knees’ Savea off the pine, have a entrance row with the revitalised Owen Franks in it, tempo throughout the fairies and I simply can’t see them getting rolled. I’d love too, however I can’t. Though it will make the Rebels Sunday fixture obligatory viewing if the Power might in some way conjure what could be a moderately giant ‘upset’.

Fearless Prediction: Canes by 25 with the bonus level.

Remaining Ladder Rating: Canes #4th. Power #ninth.

Melbourne Rebels v Highlanders

Sunday 29 Might 2:00 pm AEST at AAMI Park, ad-free, stay and on demand on Stan Sport and the 9 Community

The ‘useless rubber’? The only means this recreation has any affect on the Prime #8 is that if the Power roll the Canes and let’s be sincere Scomo main the Libs once more is extra of an opportunity than the Power getting up.

For the sake of equity although, ought to the Power prevail, then this can be a very ‘stay’ fixture and a Rebels win might squeeze the Power into the eight. As for the sport itself, it will not shock for the Rebels to play out of their pores and skin, steal a win and ‘miss’ the eight by a degree. It will tie superbly into their ‘unfortunate’, ‘laborious accomplished by’, ‘we have been so shut’ narrative. Both means, any crew that enters the Finals on a win/ loss season of 4 &10 will likely be cannon fodder for these sides above them.

Fearless Prediction: Landers. Simply, by 5. They’ve extra to play for.

Remaining Ladder Rating: Highlanders #eighth. Rebels with a dropping bonus level #tenth

Thanks Ron.

Fearless Finals Forecast

So for all of the above what are the probably QF line-us for subsequent week? Glad you requested:

#1 Blues v #8 Highlanders

#2 Crusaders v #7 Reds

#3 Brumbies v #6 Chiefs

#4 Hurricanes v #5 Tahs (begin planning ‘Mad Monday Ardie)

Wayne Smith pontificates.


It’s no secret I’m a fan of Wayne ‘Yoda’ Smith of SMH fame. I don’t essentially at all times agree with all he writes, however I benefit from the barely completely different ‘lens’ he applies to Rugby subject-matter and so or not it’s along with his newest providing.

I’ve banged on quite a bit this yr about rugby officers, consistency of interpretation and the utility of legal guidelines, particularly encompass excessive contact & foul play, however right here Yoda takes a ‘wider’ view on that very topic

Yoda makes the legitimate level in his newest SMH providing concerning the position of the ball provider in serving to cut back or contributing to go contact. Certainly there was an incident or two this weekend previous when just a few ‘dwelling crew’ ball carriers, to the bare eye, ‘appeared’ to lift a forearm going into contact and gathering tacklers ‘moderately excessive’ in consequence. I emailed fellow GAGR writers throughout one recreation particularly on that actual fact. Now, at all times one for a superb conspiracy concept’ stated television protection of those ‘dwelling groups’ (right here’s a tip, they have been from a nation who’s girls dab ‘lanolin’ behind their ears to draw a male) failed to indicate any replays in any respect of those potential foul play incidents. Hmmmmm.

Anyhoo, have a learn of Yoda’s bit, focused on your ideas.

You inform a few of them they gained’t be picked………..

The United Nations of Tonga

Quite a lot of love round for Tonga this week and the potential and possible listing of gamers that ‘would possibly’ run out for them primarily based on revised consultant standards. For mine, something that helps our PI brethren develop, entice or retain gamers and be aggressive is each good them and in addition for the code throughout the Pacific area as a complete. floated an inventory of what a potential Tongan take a look at aspect would possibly appear like.


I might be remiss to not embody one among my favorite Late Present sketches involving ‘Tonga’ as effectively.

‘You heard it right here first finally


Senator Brian.

Okay, this isn’t Rugby per se and technically he would possibly find yourself being the Senator for the Smut & Fireworks capital of Oz (and that’s simply Liberal Social gathering employees events) however you simply can’t assist however admire the integrity of the person are you able to. This tweet from Brian yesterday in response to but ANOTHER horrific headline out of the States.

All of us profit if this man finally ends up being on the ‘inside’.

Are you not entertained!

Fascinating learn on FUX from just a few Aussie Rugby luminaries concerning our code, guidelines and the ‘leisure trade’ the sport is in. Can’t say I disagree to a lot.

The return of sidelined Sideshow Bob.

Excellent news for The Pet Killers & Oz followers alike with reporting large Sideshow Bob Valentini is likely to be accessible for the finals and get some match health into the Pom sequence. For mine, Bobby V is the participant of SRP 2022.

The longer term begins now.

One other nice learn from Paul Cully on SMH on simply what the subsequent few months might imply for all concerned with the code within the run into a possible ‘golden interval’ for the code lasting by way of 2029 and past. Certainly there doth appear ‘a brilliant golden haze on the meadow’.

Remaining phrase this week goes to Europe………..take it away boys.

Hoss – out.


Author: Londonlad

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